May 2010
i lost my anti-depressants a few weeks ago. now all i want to do is cry. With my amazingly lows come amazing highs, though. Where I want to cry because of how much I love a song, or how much I love a sunset or water…is it worth it? I’m beginning to think not. I am unbearable to be around right now.
you died almost a year ago..
…so why am i still listening to all of these songs?
whew.
the plus side?
I have, the best man/best friend I could ever ask for. And as far as real friends go, while admittedly small in number, are superior in loyalty. I am finally trying to do right by my family and by myself. I have been through so fucking much, and I am still alive to tell about it. I was given the life I was given so that I could conquer through it and be proud of who I am after the...
i want to cry for all of my injustices, all of my shortcomings, how i’ve disappointed, how i don’t amount. i could be where i want to be now in my life if i had not started doing drugs. all of the people i made fun of for not doing drugs are miles ahead of me. i feel like such a failure sometimes. i hate whining about what a shitty hand i was dealt but it’s just not fucking fair....
i shall imagine life
zahavah:
i shall imagine life is not worth dying,if (and when)roses complain their beauties are in vain but though mankind persuades itself that every weed’s a rose,roses(you feel certain)will only smile
-e.e. cummings
I’m wasting away; I can feel it. Have I’ve come this far just to lose it all? I can’t live like this. I am constantly dependent and helpless. I am losing my sense of self, happiness, God, logic…anything. My lack of progress is suffocating me; I started this to be good and clean and pure…and being stuck in limbo is making me slowly, little by little, regress. But the...
this love is difficult,
but it’s real.
